Growing up

I've been thinking a lot about my birthday lately, since it's in 17 days. I will be turning 17 (I'll be turning 17 in 17 days hahaha) and I still feel like I'm 13 years old. I don't know if I'm ready to be 17 because that means I'll only have a year till I'm 18 and being 18 means you're technically an adult and I really don't want to be an adult, ever. I am not 'adult' material. I don't have a job yet, I don't tidy up after myself, I won't even book my own dentist appointments! I don't want to have to live on my own, doing everything for myself, I'm not ready to have responsibilities. How the hell to bills work? What is insurance? What is a hoover? Ok, so maybe I know what a hoover is, but the point is that I don't understand half the things I'm going to need to know in about a year and a half. I don't have time to learn all about it either, I'm doing sixth form which means I don't have much spare time.

Growing up also means making big decisions. I have to think about university. Hopefully I'll get the right grades to get in to university. I have to choose where I want to go, what course I want to do. Maybe I'll end up having a gap year. There are too many decisions. But I don't have long to choose what to do. I'm growing up way too fast and the past 16 years feel like a blur. And I know that the next 16 years will end up feeling the same, but that's how time works. I'm growing up and I'm just not ready.

Claire :)