I'm not Okay and I need a Job but I'll build a Fort

Good day friends! I have a few thing to tell you today in this post. First of all, I have another dog! She is a greyhound, like Ellie, and her name is Maya. She's been very nervous since we got her but she's slowly settling in, she likes cuddles. Unfortunately, due to the fact that she doesn't like going into the back garden, she had an accident in the living room this morning. Then my mum stood in it. It was not a pretty sight and it smelt really bad.

On Wednesday though, I went and saw the Fault in Our Stars with my friends. It was me, Amy, Paige, Elli, Lish, Maddy, Emma and Siobhan. The film was amazing (I won't spoil it for you so if you want to know any more then go and see it) and it was so nice to see my friends. I was sat between Lish and Paige which definitely made things interesting haha! I do miss my friends a lot now that I don't see them at sixth form, but it's nice that we all done something together.

My dad is now forcing my to get job seekers (yay) and so I am now waiting till my appointment at the bank to set up my bank account (because I don't have one) and then I shall be going to the job centre and hopefully start getting some money (mostly to pay my dad back and use to see my friends) whilst I try to get a job. Although finding a job is quite difficult and I am a very fussy person, so if I don't like the sound of something I might not apply for it.

I may try doing some more volunteer work at a charity store or something, just to gain more experience and to make my CV look better haha! Although, I am volunteering at RGT on Wednesdays and Thursdays I think that if I done something else it would make me seem less lazy and hopefully employers will actually want to employ me.

My parents want to get a caravan for holidays. They were going to go and look at one today but it got canceled which is disappointing because I was going to be home alone (which I enjoy because you can sing really loud and hog the TV) but they're going out all day tomorrow anyway. I'm excited for the caravan, although my sister has claimed top bunk. But I'm okay with that because I shall built a fort.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week, I know I am because the 5sos album comes out in a few days! Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Love you all!

Claire :)

Drop Out who Misses her Friends and Loves 5sos

Hi there people of the internet! I haven't uploaded in quite some time. I have finished all my exams and I have now dropped out of sixth form. I've been applying to loads of different jobs but no one seems to want me. This means that my dad is now forcing me to go to the job centre and get job seekers money, which is something I really didn't want to do, but hopefully I won't have to do that for very long. I miss all my friends at sixth form so much! It gives me actual pain. I know that they miss me too, but it's not as bad for them because they have each other but I'm stuck not seeing any of my friends. I'm going to be volunteering at RGT to walk the greyhounds on Wednesdays which will make me feel better. The dogs shall be my new friends. (Not that anyone could ever actually replace my friends because they're all so amazing)

My sister is now 20 which is really weird because she's so short and immature. But then I remember that I turn 18 this year. Which is going to make me like an adult. I'm not ready for adulthood. What a bills? What is a mortgage? I'm not ready for the outside world. I'm still a child. I still use straws when I have a drink and I can't go to the doctors on my own. I don't want to grow up. Can I just be like Peter Pan and stay young forever?

On a happier note, my sister has preordered 5sos's album for me! I'm so excited! I've got the don't stop ep and I've been listening to it non stop! I also got retweeted by Kimmi Smiles who is one of my favourite youtubers ever and I am so happy about it! I got the first few game of thrones books too! I stated reading the first one the other day and it's really funny because in the book Jon Snow is supposed to be 14 ahaha!Those are probably the only good things that have happens the past month really.

Daily recommendation: You really should listen to 5sos's ep because it's amazing!
Hope you all have a wonderful day!Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Love you all!

 Claire :)

The Sun Burns me and Amazon is a douche

I am burned. The sun is evil. I was out all day yesterday with my family, at a greyhound event, and I got sunburnt. It was quite a good day though I suppose. Had a burger and a cake and ice cream (I am gaining so much weight haha) and it was an okay day. Went for a lovely walk today with my dad, walked 2.3 ish miles so I am very proud of myself. Really tired now though, got to use my weights still today because I am going to work harder to lose some weight. (I shall say no more about that though as I keep telling you that I'm going to lose weight and then I don't but I'm really going to work hard this time)

My exams are almost over. Only one more left, which is maths C2. But I do have like two weeks to revise for it as I have half term and the exam is not until the 6th June. I don't think I've done very well at all in the exams that I have done. I'm pretty sure I have failed. I know that I'm going to drop out after my exams are over, but I did want to do well and I'm really disappointed in myself. But there's nothing I can do about it now, I just have to look forward and keep trying.

Unfortunately, City of Heavenly Fire, which I preordered ages ago, will not be arriving until more than 10 days after the release date because amazon is a douche. I am seriously annoyed about this because the whole plot will probably be spoiled for me by the internet and my friends (because lish normally does spoil the endings of books for me haha) and I have a week off this week which would have been ideal for me to be able to read it. But now it will probably arrive on the day that I have my exam and I won't be able to read it that day because my exam is in the afternoon. Ugggghhhhh. I bloody preordered it! This is not fair!

I finally forced my friend Amy to read the Fault in Our Stars. I'm not really sure how she feels about it. She texted me when she finished it and she seemed pretty annoyed about how it ended. Although most people are annoyed about what happens in TFIOS. I hope she didn't cry too much haha!

5sos' album comes out next month and I really want to preorder it, but I have no money and I owe my parents money right now too. Life is annoying. I am going to get my hair done on Friday, it's booked at the hairdressers and I'm really looking forward to it.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week and if you've preordered anything from amazon then I hope you get it on time. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Love you!

Claire :)

The Terrible Stress of Exams and my Plans for Today

I had my second exam on Thursday, it was my sociology one. Unfortunately I feel as though I failed it. Really bad. I had a bit of a breakdown after the exam was over because I messed up a 24 mark question and I really wasn't sure about the others at all. I know that lots of people get stressed during exams and that a lot of people have to deal with a lot worse and I feel really bad that I got so worked up over it. But it just got to me and it put me into that state of mind where I feel like I might do something stupid so I went home. I am going to try not to get worked up over any of the other exams but I have a feeling that I will because of how worked up I got over the two that I've done so far. I am pretty sure that when I get my results in August they will all be U's. And I'm trying to convince myself that it will be okay and that if I fail it's not the end of the world. But know that that's exactly how I would feel, like it's the end of my world because I failed and I am a failure and I'm never going to succeed at anything in life.

Yesterday was a tough day, not for me but for one of my best friends. I won't name names because of privacy and stuff. But she basicly had a breakdown and we both left sixth form and went to the park and just chilled for like two hours. I always hate it when my friends are upset and I always try to be there for them. She's going through so much right now and I think she just needs someone to talk to about it, to get it off her chest. I really hope that things get better for her soon.

Today is the day I go back to blonde and I'm really excited. I shall be going to the city to get the colour stripping stuff, I really hope that it actually works and doesn't leave me with gross hair. So it's the last day (or more half a day) of me having purple hair. I'm saying goodbye to it, it will be missed. But I am glad I'm going back to blonde (not for the reasons that Elli thinks you dirty girl) and I'm dragging my sister with me to get the stuff and she's going to buy me a cup of tea while we're out.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, I know that I shall. Good luck with exams if you're taking some anytime soon, love you all. Stay in school, don't do drugs.

Claire :)

Starting Exams from Hell and changing my Hair because I can so Deal with it

Started my exams yesterday. Had psychology. Didn't go too well. Bit disappointed. After it had finished tonnes of people were like "that was so easy" and "I aced that" and "it wasn't too bad at all" and I was like "I have failed." But I guess it's okay. I am a liar. It is not okay. People might think it is since I'm dropping out of sixth form after AS, but I still want to do well. I don't wan to fail. I know that I'm not going to do great, which is one of the reasons I am dropping out, but I'd still like to do kind of okay. I've got my first sociology exam tomorrow and I am so scared. I don't think I have revised enough and I'm pretty sure that will show in my results in August. But I'm trying to be positive. Although I am more of a pessimist so I'm finding it difficult to look on the bright side right now. I already know that all my friends are going to do amazing because they're all so smart and good at A Levels and it kind of makes me feel sad that I am the first of all my friends to kind of "give up" and I feel like they all think that I am pathetic because I "can't be bothered to carry on" or that I'm "too lazy to carry on" or something. I hope that they don't actually think that, but sometimes I'm worried that that's what they think.

In other news I shall be going back to blonde. *que dramatic gasps of shock* I know. It's been a while since I had my natural hair colour (not actually that long, only since like October) and it's going to be so weird once it's blonde again since I'm used to having it red or purple now. But it will be nice to go back. No more money spent of hair dye, not more long processes of dying it. It's been fun having different coloured hair, but I did kind of always plan on one day going back to my natural colour and I guess that's now. It may not be a while until it's back because I'm kind of broke right now, but once I can afford it I shall do it. Goodbye purple hair, I shall miss you. Another reason I kind of want to go back is because apparently the guy I like said that he preferred me with blonde hair (I'd just like to point out that this is in no way the main reason for me going back to blonde, it was just a bit of an incentive) and another guy said that he didn't like the purple too. So I shall be blonde again.

Now going to get back to revision. If any of you are doing exams then good luck, I hope you do well. Speak to you soon! Stay in school and don't do drugs. Love you!

Claire :)

Meeting Amazing Youtubers and Returning to the Dreaded place called Sixth Form

So last Tuesday, it was my friend Siobhan's birthday and we were all at the city. It was all fun, we went bowling and we were waiting to be able to go to Pizza Hut and waiting for Kezia. And as me and Lish were walking back to the bowling place to get Kez, I spotted two of our favourite youtubers, Tanya Burr and Jim Chapman. I literally had to drag lish over to them because she didn't believe me when I said that it was them. But it was them and we got pictures with them and it was so great.

I was incredibly socially awkward and Lish left me to do all the talking and I kind of rambled on about stuff. But it was so cool to finally meet people who are famous, or internet famous as Jim said. Me and Lish live in Norwich which is where they live too and we were both really lucky to just kind of see them as we were walking down the street. This was also one of the rare occasions that I have actually gone outside as I spend a lot of time inside on the internet and reading books haha! 

So if there is anyone famous who any of you guys want to meet never give up hope on actually meeting them. Also, if you haven't heard of Tanya or Jim then you should check out their YouTube channels and Tanya's make up. 

On a slightly sadder note. I went back to sixth form on Wednesday. It was horrible. I am really not enjoying it and I'm probably going to drop out after the exams anyway. I have this horrible feeling that I am going to fail my exams too because I am really struggling with all the stuff I have to revise. There is a lot that I need to know for the exams and I really don't think I'll know it all in time. Maths is the hardest, but I have a feeling that I'll fail the other two too.

I have constantly got past papers, homework and revision to do. It's a lot of hard work and I. Really do try to get as much done as I can. But it's mostly finding the motivation to actually do any work that I find difficult. I can barely find it in me to even get up in the morning, sixth form or no sixth form. But I know that a lot of people are finding sixth form tough and are going through a lot worse than I am so I don't want to complain. 

I hope you guys are all having a good week, I'll upload again soon (I hope) and I'll try not to complain in the next one! Love you all!

Claire :)

Some Interesting Question Tag Thingy that I found on the Internet

I am a lazy person but I want to upload a post. So I found these questions and now I have answered them.

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? I don't even know to be honest.
02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you? My back hurts.
03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night? I am so tired and weddings are annoying.
04: what are you listening to? Fall out boy.
05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to? Exams.
06: where do you think your best friend is right now? At her house.
07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days? Nope.
08: sex on the first date? No.
09: kiss on the first date? Maybe.
10: is there one person you want to be with right now? Not really.
11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life? No.
12: is there something you would like to say to someone? To whoever invented maths, you are an ass.
13: what are three things you did today? Got up, ate chocolate, went on tumblr.
14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over? Go to theirs.
15: what is your favorite kind of gum? Minty.
16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends? Sort of.
17: what is on your wrists right now? My moustache friendship bracelet.
18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? Yes.
19: does anyone have strong feelings for you? Haha, no.
20: are you slowly drifting away from someone? Yes, Paige.
21: have you ever wasted your time on someone? All the time.
22: can you do the alphabet in sign language? Nope.
23: how have you felt today? Crap, but that's nothing new.
24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on? Books.
25: what is wrong with you right now? Everything.
26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in? Myself.
27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now? Don't know.
28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore? Never really was to be honest.
29: how late did you stay up last night and why? I can't remember but I went to a wedding yesterday.
30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Today.
31: what were you doing an hour ago? Revision or reading my book.
32: what are you looking forward to in the next month? Siobhan's birthday.
33: are you wearing jeans right now? No.
34: are you a patient person? Not really.
35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months? Yes.
36: favourite colour? Green.
37: did you have a dream last night? Not that I can remember.
38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? Leggings.
39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be? Michael Clifford.
40: do you love anyone who is not related to you? My friends.
41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? Depends who it is.
42: do you like meeting new people? Sometimes.
43: are you afraid of falling in love? Yes.
44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself? Yep.
45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? A couple of people.
46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? All the time.

Claire :)