Average

This is a very bad poem I wrote about a certain guy I dated. His words hurt, but also made me realise how much better I deserved. So I dedicate this to him, a boy who could not love because his heart was filled with poison.

Average

I may be average

But at least I’m not heartless

I may be average

But at least I’m not an alcoholic

I may be average

But at least I am the kind to people

I may be average

But at least I don’t take things for granted

I may be average

But at least I can love

- Claire

22

Sunday the 9th December was officially my 22nd birthday! I thought I'd tell you a bit about what I got up to and show you a few of the lovely presents I got.

First thing was a night out on Friday with my friends. Sadly not everyone could make it but I had a really amazing time with the people who could. I had a LOT to drink and had such a laugh. It was one of the best nights out I've ever had. I also managed to wear a dress I couldn't do up a month ago thanks to my weight loss so far (which is now a whole stone). 

On my actual birthday I had my family over and I opened presents and had tea and cakes. I got so many amazing things and it was so nice to spend time with my family. I also got a bit of money which I'm going to try to put towards a new phone but I'm a bit broke right now so it may have to go towards other things like new work shoes.

From my parents I got the Urban Decay Naked Cherry palette which I have wanted since it came out. All the shades are so pretty and I am happy to add it to my collection of Naked palettes. I used it on my birthday to do my eyeshadow and I am in love with it.

This was an extra present from my parents because of how well I've done with getting a job and everything, they are really proud of me. The perfume has a really beautiful quote on the front which is shown in the photo above. When they gave me this I actually cried.

This pretty bracelet was a gift from my sister which I actually picked out a couple of months ago when we were on holiday and I love it so much. I wish I could show you all the gifts I got but there's a lot more and it would take too long to take photos of them all.

I'm feeling very blessed at 22 and I am excited to see what this year holds for me. Thank you to everyone who made my birthday special, I love you all.

- Claire

My Weightloss Journey So Far

This is quite a controversial subject to discuss, but about 3 weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers, sorry WW as they have now been rebranded. I had been struggling with my weight for years and although I wasn't that unhealthy or at risk I just wasn't happy with the way I looked. So I decided I wanted to lose weight.

In the first week I lost 5lbs and that's probably more because you lose more weight in the first week of a diet. It was tough because I was used to just eating what I want when I want and I had to start tracking everything and due to the amount of points I was having much healthier food.

Luckily there are lots of zero point foods, such as fruit, vegetables, chicken, turkey, eggs and fish. So I've been having a lot of those. WW have lots of their own brand food like the soup and bruschetta pictures above. I use the app to track my food and its full of recipes and you can scan the barcode on your food to find out the points. You are also given weekly points which are extra points you can delve into if you need to so it doesn't restrict you from going out or having something nice. 

In week 2 I lost 3lbs which I was really happy with. I got my pedometer to help count my steps more accurately than my phone. I started trying to get to 10,000 steps a day, although this doesn't always happen sadly. I am doing the diet with my mum so we've been helping and encouraging each other and she's been doing recipes. I've also eaten so much more fruit on this diet because it isn't any points and I find myself looking at food and thinking, I bet that would be a lot of points.

I got my first (and only because they will no longer be doing certificates) certificate for losing half a stone just two weeks into the diet which I am so proud of and I now have it on my wall to encourage me. In week 3 I lost 2lbs which was good but I feel I could have done better because I hadn't done enough exercise that week. 

So far I've lost a total of 10lbs in 3 weeks which I'm really proud of. I'm so close to losing 5% of my original weight which is great and I'm hoping that week 4 will get me there. I will probably do another post about this further down the line.

- Claire

November Favourites

Its the end of November and I haven't done one of these posts in a while so I thought I'd make one before I start my new job on Monday. Here are my November favourites. I will add in links to products where I can.

First up is this gorgeous grey bag I got from Whispers Boutique in Taverham. It cost £14.99 and I fell in love with it when I saw it. Its got a zip inside and one outside too and it also does up with a zip. Its got an adjustable strap which is so handy and a really cute fluffy pompom. 

Next up is these gorgeous boots I got from New Look for £19.99. I have worn these so much lately, including to some interviews (including the place that hired me) and they are so comfy and stylish. I think its nice to have a pair of boots that aren't black or brown. They are currently in the sale on the New Look website for £14.99, here is the link.

I picked up this cute hat from Primark for maybe £3.99 (don't quote me on that though I lost the receipt). Its so soft and keeps my head warm in these cold months. It looks so cute and I love the colour. It was cheap and I would highly recommend it.

Next is this Ted Baker Body Spray in Pretty Pearl. I got a small bottle of this last year around Christmas for myself in the 3 for 2 at Boots and I fell in love with the smell of it so when I ran out I had to get some more. I think it was £8 from Boots but is also in their 3 for 2 this year as well, here is the link.

I won these amazing tweezers on Instagram recently and I am in love with them. They are the Tweezerman Rose Gold Slant Tweezer. They allow precision and are in a gorgeous rose gold colour. I got mine from Tweezerman but they don't sell products on their site so here is a link to them at Boots.

- Claire

Things Get Better

Todays post is going to be a bit different to what I normally post. Its going to be more personal. I will be talking about mental health, mine specifically, so if you do not wish to read about that then I suggest you move along.

Since I was about 10/11 I have suffered with depression and anxiety. I was bullied in school and it affected my self esteem a lot and I remember sitting in the classroom during breaktimes because the other kids would call me names and avoid me. I know a lot of kids probably suffered worse than me with bullying, but everyone who experiences it gets affected by it.

I was lucky enough in high school to find a really amazing group of friends, who I'm still friends with to this day. But sadly the depression and anxiety were not going tot just go away and I would never raise my hand in class and I hated presenting in front of the class. It was I think the first year of high school when I started self-harming.

I somehow managed to get through high school with decent grades and great friends, but when I started sixth form for some reason things seemed to get worse. I couldn't concentrate on my work, I had no self esteem, I felt like a failure because I wasn't doing well in my subjects and by the end of the first year I dropped out.

After I dropped out of sixth form I found myself with no motivation at all. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, I barely went out at all. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety during this time and got given anti-depressants by my doctor. I was on job seekers as I had no money and I needed it for my parents to help them pay for my food and what not. So I applied for some jobs, forcing myself into social situations I wasn't ready for, making my mental health even worse.

At one point I applied for an apprenticeship and this somehow put me on a company's radar that help people find apprenticeships. So I had to meet with this woman and she asked me what I wanted to do and at the time I wanted to work with animals so that's what I told her and she said "that's unrealistic" and made me apply for things I didn't and couldn't do. This resulted in me going to a trial at a job that made me physically sick from the anxiety. Yet this woman persisted and one day I found myself trying to get ready for an interview and panicking and feeling scared and hopeless. Self-harm was still a coping mechanism for me so I turned to that to try to help myself, but when that didn't work I went for pills instead and just kept taking them till my dad found me in the bathroom.

After this suicide attempt I finally received some help. A really nice woman helped me a lot with my anxiety and got me out and about. The only problem was the depression wasn't treated and so when several bad things happened within a few days of each other I took another overdose.

I was put on a waiting list to see someone, then when I did I was put on an online course, which honestly wasn't that helpful. However, I took it upon myself to try to make myself better. I bought books, I used google and apps to find exercises to help the depression. I made myself go out and do things I enjoy. And it may have taken a while, and I'm still improving even now, but things have become so much better for me lately.

This year was full of some really bad experiences, breakups and worries. But I overcame them, I kept going. Yesterday I was employed for my first proper job and everything in my life is finally going well. I had lots of people doubt me and abandon me because of my struggles, but I have proved I am capable and I am better than I was. I am so grateful to all the people who did support me through it and I will continue to improve myself and my life.

- Claire

Lucky Girl

Hey, its been a while again but I have been super busy and ill so I've just not had time to upload any posts. Today I was finally feeling up to and able to write a post. So I thought I'd tell you about an amazing giveaway I won recently and show you what I won as I'm really happy and thankful for it.

It was a giveaway held by Unicorn Cosmetics and Jewellery Box. I won through Instagram and I was so surprised when they contacted me. The prize included 5 items which I will tell you more about.

I really liked how nicely it was all presented and it arrived really quick. There was a note inside congratulating me which wad a really nice touch.

There was a lovely set of eye makeup brushes which came in a case which is not pictured here. These were from Unicorn cosmetics and as you can see the handles are like unicorn horns. The brushes are so pretty and soft. I cant wait to use them.

This 9ct gold unicorn necklace is from Jewellery Box and I love it. It is dainty and it shines in the light and its the perfect length. The unicorn is so cute and doesn't look tacky, I will be wearing this a lot.

There were 2 pairs of lashes from Unicorn Cosmetics. The top ones are Forget Me Not and the other ones are Unicorn Flutter. They are both so pretty and look like such great quality. The packaging is so cute and I cant wait to try them out.

Finally a Glitter Skin pot from Unicorn Cosmetics. This glitter is in a wonderful shade of gold and will be perfect for NYE parties. The pot itself is also really cute and I'm very excited to have some fun with this.

If you like the look of any of these products or would just like to look at the websites, click here for Unicorn Cosmetics and here for Jewellery Box.

- Claire

What I've Been Up To

It has been a while since I made a blog post, I've just been unmotivated to write one. But today I found the motivation and figured I would tell you about some of the things I've been up to lately.

Here we have my dog, Ellie, in Wymondham with Henry the Hare. This was taken on a day out with my mum and my grandparents when the weather had finally cooled down enough for us to take Ellie with us out for the day.

This was on a night out, while we were at Spoons. It was such a fun night with my friends and the gin was great. Me and my friend Lish love to take a good toilet selfie on a night out.

I took my mum out to a Harry Potter afternoon tea for her birthday. The food was amazing and they were playing music from the films. We had to pose in front of the Hagrid cake as well because it looked so good.

We went out on my mum's 50th birthday to a seaside town. It was a really nice day out and my mum had a lot of people wish her happy birthday thanks to the sash I got her. It was me, my mum, my dad and my sister and we had ice cream and went in a lot of shops. I even won something for my boyfriend on a 2p machine.

One day my boyfriend, Sam, and I went all the way to Wakefield by train so he could buy a guitar he really wanted. It was a fun but tiring day, it was worth it to see how happy he was with the guitar though. 

I went to the zoo with my family and Sam which was lots of fun. We saw the tigers being fed and had lunch outside as it was such a nice day. 

This wonderful photo (technically Emma's second of the day) that Emily took was during tea and cakes with my friends. It was a nice time, we got to see Lish before she went off to America for her holiday. 

- Claire