Snowbaz is Life, Snowbaz is Everything

Today, I need to discuss a very important topic with you all. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. The most incredible, amazing, wonderful, gay book I've read in quite some time. Carry On is like fanfiction but its actually canon and oh wow its amazing. Did I say that already? I suggest reading Rowell's other book Fangirl before you read Carry On, but you don't have to. Carry On is based on the made-up books from Fangirl and its kind of like reading a Draco and Harry fanfiction. But so much cooler because its a real book and not some short crappy fanfiction with bad grammar written by a twelve year old. I warn you in advance my rant is messy and contains spoilers so read at your own risk.

Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who's ever been chosen.

Okay, I'm a big fan of both Fangirl and Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell which is what led me to read Carry On and boy did it not disappoint. First of all Simon Snow is a cutie patootie who makes lists about things he misses most about Watford but doesn't include Baz on his list (probably because he thinks about Baz so much that he doesn't need to put him in the list to remember him). I love his friendship with Penelope. Actually, I just really love Penelope.

My first spaz fangirl moment was at the end of page 176

"And when I felt myself slipping too far, I held on to the one thing I'm always sure of-

Blue eyes.

Bronze Curls.

The fact that Simon Snow is the most powerful magician alive. That nothing can hurt him, not even me.

That Simon Snow is alive.

And I'm hopelessly in love with him."

I love snowbaz. I really love Baz's love for Simon. The way he says that nothing can hurt him, not even himself, because he's holding on to the fact that Simon is going to be okay. That Simon is alive. That's the only thing that's keeping him going. As long as Simon is okay he can hold on.

"Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire."

Because Baz is a vampire and fire kills vampires, but at the same time; Simon is warm and bright. Baz can't keep away, even if he gets himself killed.

The fact that they say "Crowley" all the time makes me think of Supernatural and I just omfg imagine Crowley in Carry On like "why is everyone gay? Its just like Dean and Cas but with vampires and fucking wizards lets try not to imagine a Carry On/Supernatural crossover shall we?

Right, we're going to get down to the good stuff now. Lets start at chapter 61. In this short chapter Baz mentions wanting to kiss Simon five times. Then Simon kisses him. Apparently to shut him up because Baz is kind of trying to kill himself with fire and its all very dramatic and Baz cant think. I'd also like to point out that Baz calls him Simon for the fist time right before Simon kisses him.  

"He's not a monster. He's just a villain.

He's not a villain. He's just a boy.

I'm kissing a boy.

I'm kissing Baz."

At which point I think Simon realizes his feelings for Baz. That he doesn't hate him and just because he's a vampire doesn't mean he's a monster and he loves him.

"I'm going to die kissing Simon Snow."

What a way to go Baz.

"If Baz thinks I'm ever letting him go, he's wrong."

Simon wants to keep Baz because he loves him and god why did it take you so long to realize that you stupid mushroom its so cute.

"Simon snow is going to die kissing me."

This is what Baz thinks before he stops being an idiot and pulls himself together. He doesn't want Simon to die, he has to save him.

"Simon Snow is still going to die kissing me.

Just not today."

Baz admitting that he wants to stay with Simon forever. And he will even if Simon now has wings and a tail, it just gives him more character, right? I just imagine people constantly tripping over his tail with no clue what is happening because they cant see it and Simon and Baz will have to try not to laugh at all the humans who are clueless as to why they're tripping over thin air.

But have you ever come across a ship as amazing as snowbaz (apart from malec obvs) because they were supposed to kill each other but they ended up falling in love and if that's not the most ironic thing ever then I don't know what is.

Claire xoxo

P.S. I don't even know what this is, I just have so many feels about snowbaz I had to share it.

New Years Resolutions for 2016

So, its nearly 2016 and I figured I would do something trashy and unoriginal. You guessed it, I'm going to think of some new years resolutions. (Everyone groans and throws their laptops out of the window) I know it's terribly cliché and way over used but I do it every year and I cant stop the tradition now. So without further ado, my new years resolutions for 2016!

1) lose weight - this is something that always pops up in my new years resolutions and its no different this year. Lets hope I can actually achieve it this time. (probably not)

2) read more - this year I had a very bad reading slump and I plan to make up for it next year.

3) get out more - as an anti-social, anxiety-suffering freak of nature I plan to go out more and see people next year.

4) spend less money - I spent so much money on make up and books over the past year its ridiculous so I need to save and not spend.

5) learn Korean - last year in my new years resolutions I wanted to start learning a new language and I picked Korean, but as you can probably guess I haven't learnt much and so this year I want to actually learn some.

6) get better - with the help of Emma, my parents and myself I hope to be able to get better next year so that I can live a normal life and have a job or go to college.

7) be happy - something I struggle with on a daily basis which will come hand in hand with getting better, hopefully 2016 will bring good things for me.

Sorry for being such trash. I could only think of seven. I hope you all have a great new year and I'll post again in 2016.

Claire xoxo

It's Been A While

It's been quite some time since I last posted on my blog. It's been an...interesting year. But I got a new laptop today and I was sorting everything out on it and I was like "Hey, I haven't posted on my blog in forever!" so  I thought I would make a post.

I'm now nineteen. Yes, I know, an adult. Sort of. I don't feel nineteen, nor do I look nineteen. But I am starting to get my life back on track, slowly. This year has mostly been about me trying to get better, key word: trying. But right now I'm okay, I'm getting out more and I'm opening up more instead of bottling it all up.

Christmas was good. My mum and I done food for all the family as most of them came to see us. Though my aunt and uncle on my dad's side didn't see us; because they hate us, and my aunt and uncle on my mum's side didn't come and see us either; because they were too busy. So it was just my mum's parents, my dad's parents and my mum's sister and her wife. but it was nice, I enjoyed seeing them all. I got a lot of makeup and some clothes and a little bit of chocolate. Definitely not as many books as last year. I've got two bookcases full of books so I'm trying to limit myself to only a couple of new books a month.

I'm going to try to post more on my blog from now on, and make it interesting. Though I'll probably just end up rambling on about books most of the time.

Claire xoxo

I Dont Know What to Call This But it's an Update Post

Last week I had training at the kennels and it was one of the best weeks ever! It was really hard, tiring labour type work. But it was amazing. I've been wanting to work with animals for so long and I've been volunteering up there for ages and now I get to work there on the odd occasion to cover for holidays and sickness. It's really nice to be a lot more involved and the girls that work there are so lovely. I know it's not a full time job, it's not even a part time job really I suppose, but it's a start.

I worked from 9-4 from Monday to Wednesday and then probably from about 8/8:30-4 on Thursday and Friday. I was so tired by the end of the week and I had blisters but it was worth it. All the dogs are so lovely and although I spent a lot of time cleaning up poop and cleaning kennels I really enjoyed it and I would love to do something like that as my full time job.

There are now 22 dogs at the kennels and normally there's only one person there for most of the day, apart from the volunteer walkers who normally help by walking the dogs in the morning, so it's a lot of work for the girls and so I've been going in and helping all day without actually being paid to do it. I am such a good person.

On another note, I have finished season 8 of Supernatural but season 9 doesn't come out on DVD until June. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now. I guess I'll just have to watch it all from the beginning again.

Unfortunately I also have some bad news. The other day I had a bit of a break down? I don't know what to call it really. It was horrible and I am now going to be seeing my doctor on Thursday. But don't worry, I'll be fine haha! Hopefully things may finally be sorted out, I don't know what I'll do if things aren't sorted out.

Also, my mum has had her hair cut quite short and dyed it purple. I think she's having midlife crisis or something. It worries me.

I hope you're all having a fantastic week and I will see you soon. Maybe.

Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Be happy.

Claire :)

Supernatural Rant

Okay, story time. So, for Christmas (last year) I asked for the first season of Supernatural on DVD. I'd heard that Supernatural was really good and so I wanted to give it a go and see it I liked it. I got season 1 for Christmas from my aunts and we ended up watching a few episodes on Christmas day (because how else do you spend Christmas but watching two hot brothers killing demons) and I fell in love with it.

Then we ended up finishing season 1 and what else could I do but buy the next season. And each time I finished a season I would buy the next season. It's currently February and we are in the middle if season 6. I own season 7 and I think I may be obsessed.

That is how I got into Supernatural and now I shall rant about the first five seasons (because that's as far as I've got) and you can either continue reading or leave because you don't like supernatural or you don't want any spoilers.

First of all, my favourite character was originally Sam but then Castiel came into it and now he's my favourite. Plus Misha Collins is amazing. I ship Destiel. Obviously. Every time Dean is in a bad situation I just say "Where the hell is Cas?" Because he should be there to save his boyfriend.

If anyone did not realise that Ruby was bad from the start then you should leave, right now. She's was demon. There's no such thing as a good demon. Plus, she made Sam drink demon blood which is very very bad. I didn't like her from the beginning anyway, she was really annoying. And don't even get me started on Crowley being evil, although he's not annoying. I actually quite like Crowley. Even if he is evil. He's the kind of evil that you can't help but like.

I love Cas.

Can I just ask, how many more times are Sam and Dean going to die and then come back to life again? It's like "Oh shit I died again." Then suddenly they're alive again and it's like "Well, I guess I'm back." Not that I'm really complaining, I don't want them to die (and stay dead). Also, I have been proven wrong because I always thought that Bobby would die quite early on but he just keeps kicking (apart from that one time when he was in a wheelchair because he lost the use of his legs) which I'm actually glad about because I love Bobby and I don't want him to die.

When I was younger I was a giant wimp (I kind of still am) and I used to hate anything that was even slightly scary. But now it's like if someone's head gets chopped off I'm just like "Well that must have hurt." I have grown as a person. It's like if I'm out at night, in the dark, alone I just think "It's okay, if a demon tries to kill me then Sam and Dean will save me."

Anyway, if you've never seen Supernatural the you should definitely watch it, it's amazing. I recommend it to everyone, except demons, I don't think demons would like it.

Claire :)

It's a Lonely Life full of Rejection but I'm Okay

I am lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have friends. And I see my parents everyday. I just don't get to go out and see my friends or meet new people very often. I know it's because I am currently unemployed (hopefully not for too much longer) and so I never have the money to go and see people and I don't have anywhere I have to go. Most of my friends still go to sixth form and a lot of them also work on weekend so I never really get to see them (Amy and Elli). And Lish now has an apprenticeship (I hope you're doing really well Lish) and so she's now preoccupied during the week. It doesn't help that most of the time I just don't want to go out anywhere. It's not that I don't want to see my friends, I just don't want the hassle of paying to get on an overcrowded bus and actually doing stuff. It was easier at sixth form because I would see them all the time there. But now, not so much. I feel like, eventually, I'm going to end up losing all my friends because I rarely see them.

I was rejected by the apprenticeship I had an interview and trial day for. But, never fear, I am going to see someone who works for an apprenticeship company who is going to help me get a different apprenticeship. I know that there was nothing I could have done differently to try to get the apprenticeship and I know that I'll probably find something else, but it still upsets me when I get rejected. I have a fear of rejection, especially when it comes to jobs because I'm so desperate for one right now and I always seem to get my hopes up only to be shot down.

On a brighter note, I have just got season 3 of Supernatural. I started watching season 1 on Christmas Day (yes, me and my mum spent Christmas Day watching Supernatural) and I had to buy season two and now we've finished watching that so I got season three. Supernatural is AMAZING. I can't believe I hadn't watched it until Christmas (I got the DVD as a present) although I was only about 9 when it first started and I was a chicken whenever it came to anything even slightly scary when I was younger.

I also have a new internet friend. Her name is Sabrina and she lives in Las Vegas. And I have not yet ruined the friendship by forgetting to reply to her messages. I'm doing well. Plus, I think Danny (our foster dog) may be getting a new home soon. Which will be really good, though I will miss him.

Stay in school. Be happy. Don't do drugs. I love you all.

Claire :)

An Apprenticeship, Beloved Dogs and Actual Friends

Holy fudge I've not updated my blog in a long time! So, I shall update you all on my life and whatnot.

First of all I may end up with an apprenticeship by the end of the week. I have had two interviews and I now have a trial afternoon with them on Thursday. So hopefully that will go well and they'll pick me and I'll have an apprenticeship. It's an admin apprenticeship which actually sounds really good and I really want to get it, but I'm trying not to getting hopes up because I know that I'll be up against other people who want it too. But I'm going to try my best and see what happens.

Secondly, we (as in me and my family) are currently fostering another greyhound called Danny. I may have told you about Monty, he was our third greyhound, but unfortunately he bit our other dog and so we had to take him back to the kennels. Danny is just temporary, until he finds owa new home. He was mistreated in his old home and so we're just looking after him for a little while.

Normally o don't get to see my friends very often, but I saw Lish and Siobhan a week or so ago for Lish's birthday and again last Friday. Then yesterday I saw Lish (again), Amy and Elli. We played cards against humanity and it was so much fun! It reminded me of how much I miss my friends. I'm also seeing Paige on Saturday so I have a very busy week.

The main reason I haven't posted anything in so long is because I was very ill at the beginning of the year. But I'm much better now so I shall try to post more. I've really missed my blog.

I hope you all have a great week. Have fun. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. I love you.

Claire :)