Trying to find a Job when You have Anxiety and Depression; Explained

You feel the pressure to get a job because money makes the world go round but you can barely even go to an interview without throwing up from the nerves or having a panic attack on the way there. Phones are the devil and you do all you can to avoid them and most jobs involve people which is where you struggle the most. You're not unintelligent or incapable, you just struggle with people. Your friends begin to think you're lazy and just cant be bothered so you force yourself to apply and through endless rejections that only bring you down even more. All applications say they want outgoing people, which you are definitely not. You try to imagine yourself working in these places and see yourself screwing it up and so you wonder how you'll ever do it.

You see your friends working and moving out. Living their lives, working their way up while you're stuck sitting still. Your boyfriend works and you feel ashamed every time he pays for something for you. You can barely look him in the eye when you withdraw money that you did not earn. And he says he understands and he doesn't mind but surely he must to see you doing nothing and getting money.

You wish you were working, like most other people. But your mind has you trapped and no matter how hard you keep trying it always pulls you back in. Makes you feel worse about yourself because you cant do it, like a continuous circle of self-doubt. You just want to be normal, be able to get a job and work hard, move out, buy a car. It gets you down and people say "Just do it then." but how do you do that when your own mind wont let you?

- Claire